Parents are the first line of defense and the best protection to keep teens safe.
High school is a risky time for youth. In American culture, parents and neighbors often expect and even encourage, drinking, late night parties, and co-ed sleep-overs. This is especially true around graduation time. Parents and schools need to work together to change the view that teen drinking and drug use is normal behavior.
Of course, not all kids are going to drink and go to wild parties, and many parents are taking steps to keep their kids safe. Some parents, however, choose to deny that their children might be at risk, or are unaware of the dangers.1 Even “good kids” make mistakes and can put themselves in danger.
In 2003, the National Center for Chronic Disease Prevention and Health Promotion found that three out of four Rhode Island high school students used alcohol at least once, and nearly half used marijuana at least once.2 This is true in both suburban and city schools.3
Not supervising teens is linked to an increase in serious youth accidents such as car accidents during the summer months.4 Every year kids die in car crashes due to alcohol, drugs and speed. Every year, teens get pregnant or get a sexually transmitted disease because they were drinking and not thinking. Parents need to take responsibility for setting limits, even for high school teens.
What you can do:
Say no to your teens. It may take some practice, but both you and your teen will learn what you will be flexible about and what you will not allow, ever. Just like younger kids, teens like knowing that their parents care and that they have rules to keep them safe. When friends ask why they aren’t doing something, they can blame their parents.
Get together with other parents and agree:
That teenagers do not need to stay out all night unsupervised, even graduating seniors. Allowing them to do so is to set them up for disaster. It is perfectly reasonable for teens to have an 11 PM or midnight curfew.
That teenagers do not need to have sleep-overs at friends’ houses. It allows teens an opportunity to get into trouble and often puts them under undue peer pressure.
That a parent will be in the home, wherever teens are gathered to hang out. Do not leave teens home alone or without a responsible adult. Keep lots of food on hand and make your home a welcoming friendly safe place.
Never to give alcohol or other drugs to teens and to make sure you know that alcohol will not be served at parties your teens attend. It’s OK to ask questions of your teen and of other parents. Some parents may think that giving kids alcohol in their home and taking away the car keys will keep kids safe. It does not. It gives kids a message that they are expected to drink, that alcohol is needed to have a good time and that everyone is doing it. Teens can get violently ill from drinking. Some teens may be taking medications that react badly with alcohol. Drinking makes kids more likely to have an accident in the home. Drinking can also result in violence. Giving alcohol to a minor is against the law and many parents would be very angry to find that another parent had given their children alcohol.
To hold other parents responsible, if they give alcohol to minors. Speak up and speak out if you know of parents who allow teens to drink in their home. Report these parents to police. It is your business.
Have parties.
Host parties with families and friends, without alcohol, to show teens that adults can have fun without alcohol. Set a good example.
Have a party for your teens’ friends and their families. It is a great way to get to know your child’s friends and their friends’ parents. And it is fun.
When you host a part for teens in your home, make sure parents know that their child is in your home. Limit the party to one area of the house and leave the lights on. Make sure all the kids get home safely, even if it means driving them home.
Work with other parents, teachers, administrators, local businesses and student leaders to form an alcohol free after prom party at the school.
Listen to your teens. Let them share their feelings with you. Be ready to listen when they are ready to talk. No matter what your child tells you, remain calm and listen. If you lose control and become loud, you may push your teen away.
Talk to your teens. Do not assume your children know how you feel about drugs and alcohol. Be very clear about your feelings. Let them know that you will be disappointed, if they use drugs or drink. Make sure they tell you where they will be and with whom.
Book: Drugs and Kids: How Parents Can Keep Them Apart by
Gary L. Somdahl, 1996.
