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Talk to others. Watch for signs that your teenager may need help. Being a parent can be hard work. Parents don’t have all of the answers and may need to ask for help. Asking for help only means that you are trying to be the best parent you can be. Parents walk a fine line. They try to help their children become independent, while still guiding them and setting limits. Teens walk a fine line too. They want to leap into adulthood. But they still need their families’ guidance and love. Research shows that kids do better when they have a strong, positive relationship with their parent(s).1 Therefore, it is important for parents to be involved in their children’s lives, even if it requires asking for help. Talk to friends, other parents, or your own parents. Ask their opinions. Get suggestions. Share ideas. But stick to what you think is best for your child, even if your views don’t match those of other parents. Get to know the parents of your children’s friends. Talk to them whenever you see them at school or at events. If they call looking for their child, take the opportunity to chat with them about what you expect from your child. You can agree on curfews and other rules. You can keep track of your kids together. Make sure your kids have adult supervision after school and before you get home from work. This is a time when many teens are likely to get into trouble. After-school programs like sports, clubs and other activities can help teens stay out of trouble. Talk to your children’s school counselor or other parents about the types of programs available. Consider getting a mentor for your teen. Teens with mentors have better relationships with parents and peers. They are less likely to use drugs, be violent, or skip school. They are more likely to make good grades. Make an appointment with your pediatrician to talk without your child present. Many pediatricians are experts in adolescent health. A sk the doctor for ways to encourage your child to be healthier. Ask what is normal or acceptable teen behavior. Talk to your child’s school about resources that can help you. They can help you deal with your teen's behavior problems, substance abuse, or academic problems. Ask your teen if he/she is thinking about hurting him/herself or others. Take it seriously if he/she says yes and get help. Just asking that question could help you stop your child from committing suicide or hurting others. Watch for other signs that your teenager may need help. Awareness that there may be a problem is the first step. When teens are using drugs and or alcohol, their behavior changes. Be alert and pay attention to the signs that there may be a problem. Participate in parent groups or workshops run by your school or community organizations. Bradley Hospital runs a number of helpful parent events. Call them at 432-1205 to find out if there is one that might be helpful to you. Dads might be interested in participating in Men2B, a program that helps men be effective role models for boys. For more information, call the Family Health Information Line at 1-800-942-7434. Some signs that your teenager may need help include:
Don’t be afraid to step in and seek outside help. Here are a few books and web sites you might find helpful: Books Parenting for Prevention – How to Raise a Child to Say No to Alcohol and Drugs by David J. Wilmes 1995 (You may receive a free copy of this book. Simply send a post card requesting it to the Miller Family Foundation, P.O. Box 831463, Stone Mountain, GA 30083-0025) Ten Talks Parents Must Have With Their Children About Sex and Character Education by Pepper Schwartz, Ph.D. and Dominic Cappello 1999 What Kids Need to Succeed – Proven, Practical Ways to Raise Good Kids by Peter L. Benson, Ph.D., Judy Galbraith, M.A. and Pamela Espeland 1998 How to Talk so Kids Will Listen & Listen so Kids Will Talk by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish. Walks parents through a wide range of typical talks with kids, while encouraging them to listen to what their children are saying. You and Your Adolescent: A Parent’s Guide for Ages 10 – 20 , by Laurence Steinberg, Ph.D., and Ann Levine. Includes tips on parenting and describes the warning signs for pre-teen and teen risky behavior. Adventures in Parenting: How Responding, Prevention, Monitoring, Mentoring and Modeling Can Help You Be A Successful Parent, the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development. To get a copy, call 1-800-370-2943 or visit http:www.nichd.nih.gov Web Sites: Parent Fact Sheet developed by University of Nebraska Cooperative Extension. Includes short, easy to read articles on parenting and communications skills.http://www.ianr.unl.edu/pubs/family/nf311.htm Campaign for Our Children (CFOC). Encourages parent-child communication and includes a chat room; http://www.cfoc.org National Parenting Center. Offers pamphlets in On-line Adolescence Reading Room on communicating with teens. Hosts more than 100 chat rooms for parents and offers links to other websites; http://www.tnpc.com |
